So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
