I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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