5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
being pregnant is like rehab
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
