Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
