lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
