It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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