I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
