Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
