If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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