Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
