Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
