hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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