Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I want her autograph on my taint
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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