i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
