So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
