Moan for me like Helen Keller
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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