Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
