I puked a lego.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
