Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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