know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
