i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
