big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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