She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
