whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
