Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
smell my finger.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
