Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
