dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
