is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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