K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
