we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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