and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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