so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize