me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
