I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
