also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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