No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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