Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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