Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
