Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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