Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
