But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize