I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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