I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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