You smell like a Billy Joel song
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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