Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
