Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
