sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
