I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
