actually, I'm a sock model
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
