He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm too high and old for this...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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