I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh god it's open bar.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
