I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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