please come you make the beer taste better
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
