if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
