the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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