How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
