I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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