The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
