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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him

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• (315): View more from New York

  he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...

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• (716): View more from New York

  its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.

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