I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fuck appropriateness.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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