I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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