all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
