they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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