loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
