I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Randomize
