We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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