so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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