Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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