I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
