Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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