just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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