That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
