What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
