Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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