I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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