I only kidnapped one of them. chill
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
