I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
