He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We are all done wearing pants today
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
